Before you read the post, please answer the following questions in Yes or No:
- You have, at least once in your life, had some furniture (mostly sofa mattresses) ripped to shreds or tiny, tiny, very tiny unrecognizable bits.
- You have lived with someone with disgusting breath, overgrown fingernails and unshaved body hair, and you don’t think there’s anything abnormal about it.
- You always have company at home…sometimes even when…ahem…peeing.
- You now know that smelling other people’s butts is less of socially deviant behavior, more of a “let’s see what you ate today” thing.
If you have answered Yes to all of the above, then you are a dog’s human, aren't you? And this post has been specially created for you and your furry housemates.
People who own dogs are a different breed altogether. It’s like their whole existence has now been successfully—and happily—synced with their dog’s life. As a dog owner, you pretty much know what we are talking about.
So, for all you who feel totally loved in spite of all your flaws, for you who cannot recall the last time you enjoyed a day of bark-free peace, here is a collection of bow wow doormats.
So, there are these particularly happy, super-excited dogs that become incontinent when they see you…or a bee or a ball or an entire steak on their plates. Guests could consider themselves warned with the We’re Excited Pee on the Floor Olefin Doormat.
Yes, they can be disgusting like that! It's right up there with smelling butts and eating poop and let's not pretend like your dog is a health inspector. But they do not think there is a thing wrong with it. Buy the Drink Local Olefin Doormat if your furry angel has a morbid side (you know he does.)
Wipe your paws. After that you can Come, Sit, Shake Hand, and Eat. If you want, you can Roll Over and nap for a bit because soon it will be Time for a Walk. The Wipe your Paws Olefin Doormat is a must-have for every home that converses in dog language.
The We Love Big Mutts Olefin Doormat should grace the doorway when your living space is shared by big bums with tails who lounge around on the sofa all day. The only time when they really move it is when you say: Time for a walk ol’ boy!
We'd like to state right at the start that we do not think your dog wrote this. It's just not his personality. On the other hand, that tabby he's been hanging around with...you always knew she was trouble. Irrespective, the Dog Day 751 Olefin Doormat is too funny to pass up!